Being an ugly girl with a crush feels like being a sex offender

Wtf?!? No?! These things are so far from relatable.

Sorry. I’ll off myself now

If you're a writer you're supposed to write a lot of bullshit. It's part of the gig. You have to write a lot of absolute garbage in order to get to the good bits. Every once in a while you'll be like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time writing bullshit," but that's dumb. That's exactly the same as an Olympic runner being like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time running all those practice laps"

I'd just like to clarify some things about Senator Cory Booker's marathon Senate speech in protest of the present administration and everything they are doing to the American people.

Senator Booker was NOT allowed to sit down, eat, or use the bathroom during his speech. Sitting or leaving the room to use the bathroom would be considered yielding the floor. Eating would have interfered with his speaking and the person who has the senate floor must continue to speak, except when listening to questions that they will then answer.

He only took occasional sips of water.

The person who previously held the record for longest speech on the Senate floor did have bathroom breaks and also did things like read from the encyclopedia.

Senator Booker did not do that. His speech was to point out the damage that this administration is doing and he stayed on that subject.

Senator Booker's speech did reach many people. It wasn't a silly stunt that was done so that he could take the record for longest speech. He wanted to show the country that democrats will do something to bring attention to the problems we are facing. That democrats are listening to them.

Senator Cory Booker spoke for 25 hours and 4 minutes to "make good trouble."

also like, a Black man breaking Strom Thurmond's record is absolutely *chef's kiss*

for those who are too young to know about Strom, he was literally a white supremacist

He trained himself to give this speech by practicing and then implementing limits on food and water intake leading up to this. He cut out food for days, then cut out water the day before.

He then went to do an appearance on Maddow after yielding.

“Why would you want to make a game for the original Nintendo?? No one is going to buy that”

Jokes on you! I sold 1 copy!!!

LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL GRAPH! THATS A SALE BAAAABY

^Me rn

Holy shit yall. I just woke up to 21 sales! The game has officially recouped the cost of all the software I used to make it!!! IM PROFITABLE?!

...What's the game, how did you make it, and how are you selling it?

It’s called Undercover Shot! It’s a 2 player social deduction game for the original Nintendo Entertainment System!

I’m taking pre orders for physical copies here https://www.homebrew-factory.com/home/138-undercover-shot.html

And selling digital ROM versions for a dollar here: https://pirateprincessjess.itch.io/undercover-shot-nes

A week ago I was losing my mind over 1 sale, now I’ve sold 81 digital copies and 52 physical ones.

Over 100 people bought my game!!!!????? This is mind blowing. I don’t even know how to process this. I am so grateful. I would not have sold nearly this many without yall sharing this post as much as you did. I love you all so much. Thank you for making this happen. You all made my childhood dream come true in a bigger way than I thought possible.

Achievement Unlocked:

NEStseller

Sell a new title for the fucking Nintendo Family Computer in the year 2025 AD.

Wait, why am I so excited about getting a pointless achievement? I’m actually so stoked about this

Oh wait I get it now! “NESt seller”! Like “best seller” it’s a pun!

It took me 18 hours to get this joke, but I got there in the end.

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

Tags via @deadpanwalking, editor and ass-kicker extraordinaire

Please keep making art. Please make it for yourself. Please don’t let everything become even more of the same flat general appeal nonsense that doesn’t seem to have anything to say

i need these so i can flex both

Official Post of Massachusetts

I take immense schadenfreude in Elon Musk spending $25 million to try to influence an election in Wisconsin only for the candidate he was backing to lose by a larger margin than was predicted before Musk got into the race. Like how tf do you dump that much money into a state supreme court election and get not only nothing out of it but LESS than nothing. That's a truly impressive level of failure. I'm watching Elon become the most hated man in America like the Sickos yes hahaha yes comic

ALT

GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH

If you haven't heard of Julia Donaldson, she's primarily a picture book author, who we can thank for extremely popular Halloween classic Room on the Broom as well as the Gruffalo.

Let this be a testament to the power of picture books.

I'm living for these jokes.

Also I need "GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH" on a T-shirt.

Nice and toasty

uh yeah okay